Today I’m sharing a snippet of something I’ve been working on. Enjoy!
She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. This was what she saw every morning when she woke up. Hair flying all over the place laced through with gray among the dark brown strands. Lines forming around her eyes, but she didn’t mind those too much. Nor did she mind the gray. What bothered her was the ever-growing feeling of not belonging. The feeling of her skin not fitting her…personality, her inner self, if that was the best way to describe it. Something picked at the back of her brain when she woke up every morning that she was meant to be some…place else that didn’t have anything to do with the physical world around her.
She could feel herself above and not connected to her flesh and yet she was anchored into a body which had things to do and lessons to learn as part of her did, but the longer she dwelled on it, the more she knew that was only a smaller part of her. That part seemed further away each day to what her core self seemed to be. Each time she questioned it, the whole thing seemed absurd. Even if she mentioned it someone they would think her off her rocker. How did she convey how she felt to those around her without sounding like a total loon, but this wasn’t a fairy tale or some book she could find herself falling into where another world could give her answers. The only answers she could find were those when talking to her guides if they weren’t being glib and avoiding those questions.
Lessons learned as you go along and all that.
Sometimes being in the dark is the best until the light blinds you.
She could think of all the other snide remarks they would give her, but basically telling her they weren’t the ones to give her the answers because she already knew the answers. But did she?
How could she know the answer to the questions plaguing her? What was she? Human on the outside, but inside she was something else more non-human than human and the question as to what she was unraveled her brain at times. Most of the time, as the day wore on and the humdrum of everyday life, work, chores, all that caught up to her and the question got pushed to the back of her mind. The feeling lingered, but sometimes it stayed front and center. No matter how much she pushed it to the back of her mind it came through in her most mundane tasks.
It got even worse when she went out to sojourn with nature and get away from the normality of her house and the people around her. When she ventured on the leaf covered paths, those beings who dwelled within the forest stared at her as she moved through the wood. Some resented her because of what she represented. Humanity. Those tearing up their space, raping the land and destroying their beloved habitat. But others welcomed her. Not because she fit in with them, but because they saw her for who she was or at least felt what the core of her was and acknowledged it.
“Hello, non-human. Back again I see,” the elder of the wood spoke to her. She always saw him as a large slight creature stretched thin like a leaf bug, but with the face covered in leaves like the Greenman. His body sometimes normal like a human and filled out, but always in shades of brown or gray. In other woods his counterparts were rail thin walking through the brush and telling those who didn’t want her there she was safe as long as she stayed on the path and didn’t stray.
Find Crymsyn here if you dare.