Mornin’ y’all. Today we’re talking about the evolution of writing.
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about what it means to be an author and the growing pains that come along with the journey. Each of us is our own ever-evolving ecosystem. A self-contained hero/villain combination with a flair for the dramatic that will never remain the same person from one breath to the next. We’re a special breed. We create everything from nothing, and then we somehow find ways to make other people believe in our hallucinations. It makes us sound a little crazy, doesn’t it?
My first book was published in 2011 (I think that makes me the baby of the group both in age and street cred), and I’ve been on the Indie Author Struggle Bus ever since. I spent years splitting my time between two pen names while panicking over what my next move would be, how I would sell my next book, and if anyone would even notice. There has been a lot of heartache over the years, folks.
I know I’m not the same person I was when I started. Hell, I’m not the same person I was an hour ago. I’ve got the tattoo on my left arm to remind myself of that on a daily basis. And after a couple of long, mildly painful conversations with the ‘gators over the last few days, I’ve come to a brutal realization. It took hearing the unapologetic voices of some of my nearest and dearest to make me understand that all of my struggles are things I’ve brought on myself. I’ve been holding onto the past like a child with a tattered security blanket, desperate to keep hold of a crumbling structure. That structure serves little purpose in my current reality. I’m not that writer anymore. I’ve grown and changed, learned to be better than I was when I started out.
Because of those conversations, I’ve made some tough choices.
- I’m officially retiring Siobhan Kinkade as an author, personality, and mask. She was my introduction into the writing world, but she’s not really a part of me anymore. I have evolved beyond the need for a mask. The books she wrote will remain available, both in print and through KU. Going forward, however, she will be little more than a fond memory. I know I’ll miss her, but this is the right move.
- The Soul Collectors series is effectively dead. Devil’s Daughter was the story I used to process the grief from losing my father. It has been pulled from standalone publication and will be included in These Precious Things (due out later this month!) as an anchor story. Armageddon Rising is a self-contained idea. Also, I don’t need that world anymore. The worst of my grieving is done.
- After my conversation with Lexx the other morning about genre as a concept and how modern publishing bypasses those old school guidelines, I’ve decided to embrace all of my work going forward as mine, under my real name. I love romance, so I’m going to lean into it more. But I also love dark fiction, and won’t let it go. I’m learning that it’s okay to blend the two, and that there will be an audience for it somewhere out there. I’m streamlining me, both as a writer and as a person.
I say all of that to say this to you, the reader of this nonsense: Evolution is good. It’s okay to start over. Even years in, it’s okay to take a step back, reassess, and repurpose both yourself and your writing. Your words still have value, even if it doesn’t feel like it. We’re never steps backward. We’re just taking a step to the side for a minute. Once we sort ourselves out, we get to continue on our journey.
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What I’m Writing: “The Broken Ones” – The Shadow Council Archives #4
What I’m Reading: “The Poppy War” – R.F. Kuang
Where to Find Me: Linktree